What is anger?
Anger is a natural and important emotion. It can help us recognise when something feels unfair, threatening, frustrating, or when our needs are not being met. However, difficulties arise when anger feels overwhelming, hard to control, or leads to behaviours that negatively impact relationships, work, or wellbeing.
Anger is often a “secondary emotion,” meaning it can sit on top of other feelings such as hurt, fear, shame, rejection, or stress.
Common signs and experiences
- Feeling easily irritated or “on edge”
- Sudden bursts of anger that feel hard to control
- Difficulty calming down once upset
- Physical symptoms such as tension, racing heart, or feeling hot
- Shouting, arguing, or saying things in the heat of the moment
- Withdrawal or shutting down after conflict
- Feelings of guilt, regret, or shame after angry outbursts
- Difficulty expressing needs or boundaries calmly
- Relationship conflict or breakdown linked to anger
How I work
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based approach that can be very effective in helping people understand and manage anger. CBT focuses on the connection between thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and behaviours, and how these can form cycles that escalate anger.
In therapy, we work together to understand what triggers anger and what keeps it going, and to develop more helpful and controlled ways of responding.
Using CBT, we may focus on:
- Identifying triggers and early warning signs of anger
- Understanding the anger cycle (thoughts, feelings, body sensations, behaviour)
- Challenging unhelpful or rigid thinking patterns (e.g. assumptions, interpretations, perceived threats)
- Developing emotional regulation strategies
- Learning grounding and calming techniques
- Improving communication and assertiveness skills
- Building problem-solving skills rather than reactive responses
- Reducing impulsive or harmful behaviours
- Exploring underlying emotions such as hurt, fear, or shame
As an Integrative Counsellor and Art Psychotherapist, I also recognise that anger can be connected to past experiences, unmet emotional needs, trauma, or difficulties in relationships. Where helpful, creative approaches can support expression and understanding of emotions that may feel difficult to put into words.
The aim of therapy is not to suppress anger, but to help you understand it, express it in healthier ways, and respond in a way that feels more in control and aligned with your values.
Areas I may support with
- Anger outbursts and emotional reactivity
- Irritability and low frustration tolerance
- Relationship conflict linked to anger
- Difficulty expressing needs or boundaries
- Work-related anger or stress
- Underlying emotional triggers (hurt, shame, anxiety)
- Emotional regulation skills
- Communication and conflict resolution
